Friday 4 July 2014

It's tough, I'm not going to lie.


Days like today, when I'm totally exhausted- end up going to the hospital in my pyjamas, feel like bursting into tears at the slightest thing, feel weak, lethargic but angry at the world, they are really hard work. Not just for me but everyone around me. 

I am in a lot of pain in my legs and hips, Infact I have shed tears over it. I feel like my joints are burning and my calves are being stretched beyond a tolerable level. 

I feel sick, my abdomen hurts, I don't have the energy to do anything becUse my feed gives me enough calories to just about survive. This is tough. 

My family are exhausted, we have no time for anything but sorting me out, which is hard. My poor Mum physically can't take the strain if how demanding looking after me right now is. If I try and walk one day, it has a knock on effect in the pain and exhaustion levels of the next. I have people (that don't understand) telling me that I 'need to keep walking" but it is simply NOT that easy. When I walk I feel like I'm going to pass out, my legs cramp up and give way, it affects the rest of my day. 

I am too exhausted to drive round to Nanny's for a shower so sorry world- it will just have to wait. 

I think thank is enough moaning for one day. I just desperately need some suitable space so I don't rely on piggy backs that hurt my hips even more. So I don't have to travel to another house to have a shower. 

It's all so very hard. 

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