Well, Once again it is a Sunday and (touch wood) the ward has been quiet. I slept a lot of the morning, in fact it was one of those mornings I just couldn't keep myself awake.
I have so many ideas whizzing around my head right now about things I want to do. I am writing my book and finding it extremely therapeutic and beneficial whilst enjoyable too. I have an idea I can do from home and hospital to start earning some money, and also an organisation I would like to set up which I feel God is sending me a lot of direction to do.
All of this takes time (which I have plenty of!) but also energy, which admittedly I am lacking. I'm just really not the sort of person that can sit around doing nothing, perhaps something I need to get better at. It's a fact that rest heals.
I have a couple of interesting books I want to read, which will help me with my future plans and organisations. I also think it will add wisdom to my own book I am writing. I am taking things a day at a time, whilst still creating a future for myself. I refuse to let my illness beat me. In fact, my illness will NOT beat me!
I am going to prioritize the things I want to do and set aside a little time each day for the different projects. That way none of them will be forgotten and all will progress. I think this will really boost my self esteem and self worth.
I also need to work on my relationship with God, something that recently has been lacking. I guess sometimes it is really important to sit back and re-evaluate things. To see what things have been important in the past and should still be important now. I need to get back on track with daily study and prayer, I KNOW it brings blessings, so why am I stopping that for myself? I really have no excuse.
My education is something that will have to go on the back burner for a little while unfortunately, my concentration and ability to retain information just isn't up to standard right now and there is no point putting myself through the frustrating and upset intentionally. I have plenty of time to gain qualifications, and to be honest- I don't think you need qualifications to go far in life if you have strength, determination, wisdom and a drive to succeed.
Health wise I don't really know what to say. I am awaiting more surgery and we will take things from there. I am trying not to think about my health right now, and leaving that to others. It does get me down and right now I think it is important to stay upbeat and focused. Having a healthy mind is such a big part of having a healthy body. Obviously if something major happens with a breakthrough in treatment I will let you all know, but right now it is a matter of keeping me safe and stable.
I am spending time focusing on 'Chloe'. What 'Chloe' has as her needs a desires, regardless of how ill she may be. Because I AM still capable of reaching those desires.
I worry about Mondays, it brings doctors and ideas and stressful conversations. But I will deal with that when it happens.
Thanks Folks
Chloe xxx
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